It's been yonks since any of us updated this blog. It's figuratively dead because none of us was willing to do it. I'm doing this because I was just reading through the old posts a moment ago and I found myself grinning to what seemed like happiness. Just look at the distance in terms of date between the previous post and this.. Miss those days huh. I know I shouldn't be doing this, oh god. But it's just..

So I read all the old posts, and I was really amazed at how much things have changed. When initially I was everything to him, as everyone else was looking forward to 10 may, the date we both got together. And then a few months later things started to fall apart without any apparent reason. But in between tough times, we did reconcile and then we fell apart again, then we reconciled, the we fell apart again, and it just went on till April this year, when he really left me for good. Between April and October this year, I tried to keep this love alive, I did everything I could to convince him back. However, he has made his final decision, and that is to leave me behind. It isn't a good feeling to get rejected umpteen times. Especially by the one you love most. But honestly, why am I still saying all these crap when he really isn't coming back? Because by treating me this way, he's deliberately torturing me and driving me mad. Pointless!

Jealousy is the answer to that. I have been keeping this inside because only he is concerned in this case but I know he'll just not bother how jealous I can get with his other girl friends that he's talking to. Whoever they are. But ok, this is really lame, I don't wanna talk about this. Moving on, I have always wanted to be The Special One in his eyes. I have always wanted to have a closer relationship with his mother, knowing that she was never against our relationship. In fact, I was told that she likes me that even she's disappointed that he's left me. At least that's how we can build happiness together. A stronger happiness by communication and toleration. However, I am disappointed despite him knowing that he mean a lot me, he should've known better than to hurt me. It's gonna hurt when it heals too but it's gonna get better in time. It was never easy to move on from him fact that he had a huge impact on me. It just don't mean a thing when you leave whilst I'm still looking back. Perfect. Much misses, 10.