7:43 PM
Guys, I miss him so much. And that is just an understatement, by the way. It's been a year now since we broke up. Or maybe to make things sound worse, we could've been on our 22nd month. I've always wanted to put my arms around him, to love him better. Wanted to. But couldn't. It isn't my job anymore now. The flashbacks began almost immediately. They take me back there, and I feel it all over me. His voice in my head, his body next to mine, the terror in my heart. They haven't gone away. I was hoping that maybe we could sit by the yachts and water with cider talking about when we first met, when we lived on sunlight and happiness.. I couldn't even make myself believe that I was on cloud nine almost everyday.
Judging on the flip side, I have no other word to describe it besides Envious. I just don't see any hope between us anymore. Not even a tiny winy bit. It's like I don't even stand a chance. Like I don't hold any value in his eyes. Still, I'd do anything to have time with him again. To have long bus rides again and share the iPod for music whilst my hand intertwine with his. How can you buy that with money?
Enough is enough, bro. If you can't find happiness with her, if two-third of your days with her are spent quarreling and fighting, then come back to where love is. Other people find it so hard to find their true love, when you can actually find yours just 2 mins away, just that you're turning a blind eye to the obvious. How irony it is or is it just me? And by looking at the posts I've made so far, I am so screwed for love right. "Who even reads this shit" Meh..
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Md Fadzly
